marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
