i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she told me i tasted like america
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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