i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
