yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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