I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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You're like the curious george of whores
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
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So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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