Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
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"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
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There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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