WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
