Kareoke will never be a sober sport
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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