i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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