So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
