He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
