the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize