There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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