There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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