What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
