Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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