Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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