Fuck appropriateness.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
