He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
