The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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