i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
