I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
