Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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