he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
