Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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