hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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