We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
