Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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