Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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