Your dad touched me again.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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