Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
