This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
