he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
