Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.