I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude i'm inner monologue high
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.