"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
