A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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