one two three fourrrrnication!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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