Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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