my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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