ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
