question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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