Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i permit you to call me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
