it was like his penis was on wheels.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
