I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
