i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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