he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
