my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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