Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I believe in your delicious
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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