Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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