Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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