whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
