Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
BRING THE BAGELS
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
