I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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