We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
