Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Your cock deserves a montage
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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