I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
