even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
