I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
