Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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