Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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