Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
