Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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