Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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