Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
