My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
