It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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